I enjoy the idea of being young and how people always tell me omg-you-look-like-you-are-18 and how I'll balloon up with joy -Yay I LOOK young- but the reality is I'm 20.
I look at my friends and to me, they are whom they are when I met them 4 or 2 years ago. Just like how my Junior College mates will always be 18 years old to me regardless of how MATURE (they claim to be) they are now.
2 years ago, I was ogling at handbags and pencil heels when I scoot pass shops and wish how I can own those killer heels although I know I don't need them at that time.
Like who in the bloodyhell needs a pair of stilettos when all you wear is green fugly uniform and brown sleese shoes (those were so trendy in 2006 ok!) 6 DAYS per WEEK?? Of course I was like the good girl (I was a student councilor please) so it means I had no late night parties and clubbing and whatever was hip and happening out there in 2006-2007 does not involve me. So again, I had no reason to buy anything although I wish that I can grow up faster (kuakuakua the irony) so that I can get to have my little piece of
Now, 20, I have -thank god- freedom, and most of the things I want. An iPhone, an iPod, a Gucci tote, an LV summer canvas tote (pink!), my dream course, and a job (haha).
But honestly, I wished my parents had given me more freedom. I don't know what's Fun. What IS fun. HOW to have fun. I spent 6 days in school and I feel more stupid than ever now -the irony, again-. I want to try things. I want to learn new things. But all these were halted, thanks to my folks.
Now that I am 20 (going to be 21 in 2 days!) I feel like I am going to be more rebellious than ever. I am going to do the naughty things now. I think this is a very bad 21st birthday resolution, but heck it.
No, I'm not going to start looting stores.
I am just doing things that will make me whom I want to be or whom I imagine to be when I am 10 years from now.
It's ok to be bad, right? The good kind of Bad? Hmmm.. *scratch head*
love,
Faa
Saying hi, from China.
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